Tuesday, January 18

Waiting for a clue

Don't know what I did
Don't know what I said.
I'm at loose ends with all these thoughts
kickin' 'round my head.

Don't know what to say.
Don't know what to do.
I only know having you gone
leaves me quite terribly blue.

But life has taught me lessons.
And life has shown me much.
I am the patient sort
and I'll continue on as such.

Monday, January 10

Wounded but unbroken

My car abruptly swerves
to the side of the road.
A mere song on the radio
brings me to a stunned emotional stop.
The words slam into me
with the force of truth
and I realize they are the words
you have been saying to me for so long
through your actions
your reactions
your silences
and your touch
but that you have never found
the strength to speak aloud to me.
The love I feel for you
has always blocked me from accepting
the looming, sad reality
that you will never
truly return that feeling.
Your heart is not mine and never will be,
and I can’t make you feel for me something
you never have and probably never will,
at least not before it’s too late
and I’ve taken my wounded
but unbroken
heart and found another home for it.
My eyes fill with tears of sorrow
and frustration
and disappointment
as I try to decide whether I have
the strength to speak aloud to you
any of this and set us both free.
I wonder,
if you heard this same song
at this point in our affair,
would you sense the same truth in it
and find a way to tell me
something
other than that you don’t know
how you feel about me?
I doubt that you would,
just as I doubt I will ever find a way
to let you go first.